In Praise of Cheerleaders
A friend of mine and of many has recently died at an age which seems far too soon, just 67.
I saw the news here in Australia where I am currently working and travelling, and could barely believe it. Social media is covered in loving comments sharing what she meant to them from friends, contacts and family of the wife, mother, grandmother, business woman and philanthropist… all of us whose lives she touched in so many different ways. One of them was from proud award winner Peter, pictured above, from twelve years ago now.
Only that week I had been tagged in a Facebook memory shared by a friend, showing a handful of us celebrating Julie’s Norther Power Women lifetime achievement award win in Manchester, long before she became a Dame.
Me and my colleague Jo, who later worked alongside Julie in communicating her vision for Wentworth Woodhouse, had both worked with Julie and nominated her for being a woman of passion, inspiration, dynamism, achievement and encouragement. Typically, Julie asked us to accompany her to the award ceremony to show her appreciation.
For me, Julie exemplifies the antithesis of that US Ambassador Madeleine Albright quote about hell having a special place for women who don’t help other women. Julie helped everyone who attempted to use their potential and live their best lives, whatever their background or obstacles- especially women.
Dame Julie Kenny DBE DL was one of the Yorkshire region’s most dynamic and respected businesswomen and the restoration champion of stately home Wentworth Woodhouse in her hometown of Rotherham.
I had the privilege of getting to know self-made entrepreneur Julie in 2012, when my former charity marketing and PR business was still in its early years. I was honoured when she invited me to handle her public relations for the year she became the first ever High Sherriff of South Yorkshire (the Queen’s representative in the region) to come from a council house background.
As I interviewed her for various profile articles across the media, I came to realise Julie defined the ‘triumph over adversity’ and ‘David and Goliath’ storylines so attractive to the media.
I can’t summarise better than our friend Jo, who wrote this about Julie:
Sheffield-born, Dame Julie often said that surviving a difficult childhood gave her the motivation to succeed.
She grew up in an impoverished, chaotic household where, by the age of 10, she was caring for her baby brother and responsible for cooking and cleaning, but always prioritising homework and school.
She left at 18 to become a legal secretary in Cornwall, was swiftly offered legal training and went on to a successful career as a litigation lawyer.
She launched Pyronix with her first husband, but their marriage ended and Dame Julie continued to lead the growing business as a single mother of three, supported by two nannies working around the clock.
Julie knew I was a single mum with two children to support, who had survived an abusive marriage, divorce and my ex-husband’s tragic death the year before. She also knew I was passionate about supporting the charity sector and so asked me to help her identify and publicise- not herself, but three themes she cared especially about during her year of office: vulnerable women of all ages who had survived trafficking, domestic violence or other challenging circumstances, young school leavers who needed motivating and training into apprenticeships and well-paid jobs, and getting more people, especially women, into STEM subjects.
I am proud that a year later in January 2013, Julie’s High Sherriff Awards had the highest number of entrants ever, because- putting her own business interests into trusted hands that year- Julie had managed to visit literally hundreds of charities and good causes. And always returning excited to tell me the inspiring stories from the good causes she had visited and wanted to publicise along the way.
I was once delivering some business innovation training in a Sheffield school and saw these words printed across their reception wall. To me, these words of famous US Civil Rights leader Martin Luther King Jnr, describe Julie Kenny so well.
“Light has come into the world, and every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or the darkness of destructive selfishness. This is the judgment. Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, “What are you doing for others?”
Just a few weeks after the high of those wonderful Awards, two weeks before her tenure as High Sherriff ended in March 2013, my twelve-year old daughter died unexpectedly at home of a suspected seizure. Julie could not have been more supportive as I came to terms with the traumatic loss and my wonderful team stepped in to complete the contract.
She kept in regular touch, when I went travelling around Australia in 2016 in my daughter’s memory, when she needed publicity for her causes, when she took on the enormous challenge of restoring decaying Wentworth Woodhouse for the nation…
She offered to mentor me a couple of times when I was struggling with direction (I remember her telling me at that first meeting to never, never drop my prices. We women had to believe our skills and expertise was worth every penny). Julie learnt further losses and bereavement had made me so unwell, I had to take an extended two-year sabbatical in trauma recovery and decided to close the business at the end of the Pandemic. She had just become our second ever female Master Cutler in history, what an honour, and invited me into her parlour for tea and cake ‘to catch up’ on my return to the area. “Invite Faye to the Master Cutler’s Feast as my guest”, she asked her right-hand woman, as we shared a little of our journeys together.
I was recovering from a breakdown, closing the business that had earned me and my children a living for sixteen years. I didn’t think I could face all those people from my old life so soon, but I made myself go to honour Julie’s kindness. And of course, enjoyed the evening.
Afterwards, she invited me to Wentworth for tea, and I promised I would go, but we didn’t manage to match dates when I visited the beautiful gardens with Jo and took my mum to enjoy Julie and team’s latest triumph, the newly opened Camellia House last July. So, sadly her glorious Feast was the last time I saw her in person.
Julie was made a Dame Commander of the British Empire in 2019 in recognition of her five-year campaign with SAVE Britain's Heritage to buy the house in 2017 and her ongoing leadership of Wentworth Woodhouse Preservation Trust. She said of her challenge,
“Many people told me it was impossible. But my view is that nothing is impossible with time, energy and belief.”
In part due to Julie, I welcomed the unexpected opportunity for another two months working and travelling in Australia to write a book about my own journey, how I literally walked myself from despair back to physical and mental health.
Julie, I have stopped to write this letter to and about you, because I have got to day five of my epic 700-kilometre solo hike across two countries, carrying my pack, staying in municipal hostel dormitories, on the famous Camino pilgrimage from Lisbon in Portugal to Santiago in Spain. A trek where I too had to keep the faith that- like you at Wentworth- with time, energy and belief, the challenge I had taken on was not impossible.
Today, across time, I have just read what you wrote on my daily Facebook blog post on 11 September last year:
“Faye I am enjoying reading your daily journal but getting a real feeling of your ups and downs. I believe you can do this and that it is important to you to do so. Your friends and colleagues are routing for you and although not there in person, definitely there in spirit sending you all our love strength and encouragement to add to your incredible strength, belief and optimism. Take care my traveller, we are on that journey with you. Xx”
Thirty walking days later on 7 October as I completed the journey weeping with joy outside the Cathedral, you wrote again:
“Fantastic. Well done xxx. You need to write a book about your adventure. It would be fantastic…What a journey. Very proud of you. We were there with you though your words, pictures and challenges. Well done lass. Just brilliant. xxx”
Well Julie, I hope you can hear up there with my Gabi, because finally I do feel compelled to write that book you and many other valued encouraging blog readers told me I must.
And I will be emphasising how much your daily cheerleading, and that of the great company of women you surrounded yourself with, kept me going on those days of blisters, sweat and tears. The days when the journey seemed too hard, the challenge too great, my body too weak, my strength too low…
Thank you to you, and to them, you are all remarkable women, leaving your own unique legacy in others’ lives. As the Christian funeral service reminds us, we bring nothing into this life, and we take nothing out. Nothing but the memories we leave with those whose lives are the poorer for our passing.
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” The Bible, Galatians 6:9
For any who feel moved to donate, Julie’s friends have started a legacy fund in her memory- for Wentworth, where else?
https://www.justgiving.com/campaign/damejuliekenny
